Monday, October 15, 2007

Dealing With Loss

How do people get through the loss of someone they love without God? I don’t know how they do it, I just know I wouldn’t make it through those times without grabbing hold of my heavenly Father and hanging on for dear life.

One of the first times I experience this I was sixteen and in love with a boy I had met just a few short weeks before at a friend’s church. He was so spiritually mature that I was impressed and took an instant liking to him. Perhaps that was all it was. I just knew he had the qualities I admired. He was also sixteen. It was his Senior year and I was a Junior. One afternoon while visiting my friends we got a call that he had an accident while cleaning his gun, the bullet lodged in his spine and by the time they got him to the hospital he was gone. I was devastated and I cried for weeks, letting my heart cry out to God because I could think of no way to express how I felt.

At first the tears were bitter, hot, they did not bring the healing I expected. No stranger to grief and loss, having lost family members, I knew how it should feel. And I knew that though we love our family and friends we are not guaranteed a long life on this earth. But to loose him and all my hopes and dreams, though unspoken, hit me so hard that I had a hard time recovering. The suddenness of it shook my world and I wasn’t sure if it would ever be the same.

I had to go back to school and somehow get through the days. I walked through those hours as if alone. A haze covered my vision. I don’t know if my parents knew how hard it was. We never talked about it. I talked to my best friends once, late into the night, talking so long that I woke with a sore throat. Even that felt different. Everything was changed, me most of all.

Though I never spoke aloud to God I kept a constant communication with Him in my heart. I held on for dear life and He brought me through that time. You hear that 'Things that don’t kill you make you stronger'. I was stronger and I was more sure of God. Now I know that He is the answer to all things. He is the answer to the desires of our hearts, to the difficulties life brings our way. He is the answer to loss that can, if we allow it to, destroy our hope, our lives, our peace of mind. Call out to God, hang on to Him. He will get you through it. You don’t have to know what to say, He will hear your heart. God’s word says, “The Spirit will intercede for us with groanings that can not be uttered.” Rom. 8:26

More recently, Jan. 27, 2006 through June 15, 2006, we lost my husband’s mother and two close friends. That was a rough year, but God brought us through. I have been changed again, by loss, but I believe the changes are for the better. I’m more aware of what is really important; letting loved ones know how much they are loved, time spent with family and friends, reaching out when I see someone struggling, being willing to give up my day or what I want to help someone. Allowing God to help me has brought spiritual growth. I am so thankful that He is there to call on. He is always faithful.

Call out to God, hold on to Him and He will get you through. No matter what is happening in your life, He cares!!

No comments: